If anyone would have told me a few years ago I would have a blog like this, I would have probably laughed. I spent years hiding out from anyone finding out about my eating disorder and never dreamed of sharing with anyone what I was going through, except with a few close friends and family.
My blog has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. Writing out my feelings and working through emotions this way has helped me learn to be more open and vulnerable and has helped me as much as I hope it’s helping others. There is something so freeing about being able to just kind of let loose and write how I’m truly feeling, and hopefully reaching out to someone going through the same thing in the process.
Lately though, I haven’t had the time to work on my blog and devote to writing like I would like to. These past few months have flown by and I haven’t had time to cook or try out new recipes, which I love to do. (and that really sucks in the fall because of all of the pumpkin and apple dishes I want to make). I am a full time student and I work on top of that, so my free time is usually devoted to school work or outside activities…
AND this lack of time to devote to my blog has really been stressing me out.
I love writing and it is the worst feeling knowing that I have no time to do something that I love, but you know what? That’s life sometimes.
Life is stressful; it’s just how it is. Whether you’re dealing with work, school, relationships, or every day situations – stress is bound to creep its way in at some point. The thing about stress is that life will slow down eventually, the stress will pass, and you will finally be able breathe again. Stress isn’t really the problem…the real threat is how we deal with stress.
Everyone handles stress differently. Its been three years into my recovery for my eating disorder and stress seems to be the only thing that has the ability to set me back with my eating habits. With all of the stress I’ve been under lately, it really hasn’t affected my eating, which is a total blessing and feels so good knowing I haven’t let it control me in that way this time around.
Here’s the thing you have to keep reminding yourself – Stress is going to happen. It’s not IF, but WHEN will stress worm its way back into your life.
Bad habits are hard to break, especially when they’ve become a crutch for dealing with the demands of life and stressful situations. These habits can be both a burden and a comfort even though we know deep down that they are not a dependable vise to lean on – we continue to do it because it makes us feel good in the moment.
I’ve dealt with stress through restrictive eating for a long time. I know that when I choose to not eat, I’m making a rash, unhealthy decision, but its so tempting to just go with it because it gives me relief right then. At the time, I feel like these eating habits are the only things that I can control when everything around me seems out of control and out of my hands. In reality, my bad eating habits is the thing that is controlling me and giving me a false sense of relief.
People will always have stress and most have their way of dealing with it. When stress hits, there are many false beliefs and comforts we all use to try and help: spending too much money and shopping; controlling what we eat or drink; or checking out and hiding in the bed. The list could go on. Some of us are just wired to be attracted towards destructive and deceptive patterns when it comes to stress.
What I am about to say is SO much easier said than done, but it has really helped me the past couple of years. When I’m feeling like life is out of my hands and I need to combat a destructive habit – I work on creating a new constructive way of dealing with the stress to take its place.
For a while, one of my favorite things to do when I became overwhelmed was to knit. Knitting took my mind off of the stressful stuff and it became a relaxing and productive way to work out my stress (I made like 50 scarfs that winter). Now, I’ve been dealing with my stress through exercise. Going for a run or a long walk is the cure-all for me when I am stressed out. I don’t have to think about anything and I can take all of my worries out on the running trail.
I guess the first step in knocking out the bad habit is to see stress for what it is. Know that it’s going to happen and be prepared for the negative thoughts and false habits to start showing up.
Before giving in to them – replace them.
It will feel natural and comfortable to reach for that bad habit when you’re all wrapped up in stress and craziness. When you see stress building up in your life, stop and find something to be thankful for through the mess before acting on that bad habit.
Divert your stress by focusing on something good in your life and take some deep breaths. Then, choose your new constructive habit to take the place of the old destructive one. Maybe it’s a hobby that you have been wanting to try, but never gave it a chance, or an activity you know will benefit you. Developing positive ways of coping with stress over time can help you navigate those inevitable stressful situations.