The other day, as I was getting ready, I found myself mindlessly picking apart parts of physical appearance. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until several minutes and thought, “Wow, that was mean of me.” I’ve come a long way in how I view myself, but there are still moments where I slip back into being my own worst critique.
This had me thinking, why is it so hard to be nice to ourselves sometimes? We beat ourselves up for a mistake we make at work or school, something we said that we think was dumb, or overly criticize aspects of our physical self. The thing is, how we talk to ourselves affects us more than we may realize.
Imagine you have a best friend, you are closer to them than anyone else. During a conversation with a few friends over lunch, you accidentally spill an entire cup of coffee on your lap. Your best friend turns to you and says, “You look so stupid right now. Way to go.”
Would you want to continue to be friends with this person? Wouldn’t you re-evaluate if they were really a good friend? Would you let someone speak to you in a harmful way? Hopefully, you wouldn’t.
How we treat ourselves should be held to the same standard of how we let others treat us.
The bottom line is Don’t Bully Yourself.
This reminds me of the Bible verse, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” We are not only supposed to love others well, God wants us to love ourselves well too.
As the sayings go…
You cannot pour from an empty cup. Fill up your own cup before you fill up others.
Put on your oxygen mask before your neighbors.
The analogies go on and on.
This may be odd at first, but if you realize you’re being a bully to your brain, try standing up for yourself.
Here are a few examples:
Me: “You can’t pull off this outfit. You look too bloated.”
Response to myself: “No, I look beautiful in this. I am perfect exactly how I am.”
Me: “What you said was dumb. You look so stupid right now.”
Response to myself: “What I said was not dumb. No one thinks I’m stupid. I am smart and capable.”
Be intentional with how you talk to yourself. Learn to build yourself up and speak to yourself how you want others to speak to you. Loving yourself well matters more than you may think.
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