There were countless times throughout my struggle with anorexia when I felt alone in my brokenness. I was convinced there was no way anyone knew the pain I was feeling. For a while, I thought I was supposed to suffer alone and in silence. After all, if no one knew how I felt, how could they possibly help break the control my eating disorder (ED) had on my life?
Eating disorders have the ability to hold someone captive in a state of isolation and loneliness. You begin to feel as if no one else could ever understand the tight grip ED has on you and your life. For me, that was one of the biggest roadblocks that hindered my recovery; I never wanted to reach out to anyone because I never thought anyone would understand what I was going through.
This is the nature of an eating disorder: to isolate and make you believe that you are alone in what you are experiencing.
Lets start by bringing this lie into the light: You are not alone. Period.
If you have an eating disorder or going through a difficult season of life, know that you do not have to struggle by yourself. Regardless of what you’re going through, there are people that have been where you are and can help. These lies we hear and tell ourselves hold us back from being free from our circumstances. Lies grow and become stronger in the dark, but they cannot survive in the light.
Okay, but how do I bring these harmful lies out of the dark?
The best way to help yourself is by helping others.
Wow, sounds crazy, right? You are probably thinking, “How can I help someone else when I need someone to help me?” I can say first hand that serving others really puts your circumstances into perspective.
When I started volunteering, I began to feel less isolated. Serving others helped create a sense of purpose to my pain that I had never felt before. I was no longer alone, but surrounded by support.
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Mahatma Gandhi
My mom was the first person to suggest this concept to me. Throughout my ED, she constantly tried to push me in a direction of healing. She signed me up to volunteer at different organizations that helped feed the homeless and the disabled. One of the main places I volunteered was at Open Hand Atlanta (http://www.projectopenhand.org). Open Hand gives food to those who cannot get food themselves. They deliver meals to individuals with disabilities, AIDS, cancer, and the elderly. I helped package the food and get it ready to be delivered. At that time in my life, I didn’t even want to go in my own kitchen and be around food; it gave me a lot of anxiety. So here I was, completely out of my comfort zone, but seeing food in a positive light for the first time since my ED. Food was not the enemy at Open Hand, but was something that was desired and needed.
I also started volunteering with EDIN (Eating Disorder Information Network – http://www.myedin.org). Through EDIN, I have been able to share my struggles and journey of recovery with different schools, organizations and speak at several eating disorder awareness events. I’ve also made friendships with awesome people who were volunteering at EDIN. There is comfort in numbers. Being around others who have also struggled with an eating disorder took away the sense of isolation. I have seen what it means for people to give back and how much it has helped them through difficult times. I am so thankful for the leadership at EDIN and all I’ve learned from them.
If you are struggling, look for ways to give back in the midst of the difficult season you’re facing. Bring the lies you tell yourself to the surface by surrounding yourself with support and by supporting others.
Truly, one of the best ways to help yourself is by helping others.