“The Girl With No Face”
Art By: Ashton Powers
Picture this. You’re home alone when you hear a knock at the door. You go to see who it is, to find someone on your front porch. They push past you, but you don’t do anything to stop them, you just let them in. You don’t call the police and you don’t fight back; you willingly let a thief into your home. The thief takes your valuable belongings then leaves. Each day they come back to your house and each day you let them back in. They start taking more and more until you finally have nothing left for them to steal. Why would you let someone come into your home time after time and walk away with everything you own?
That’s basically what happens when you have an eating disorder (ED). You let ED, the thief, manipulate your thoughts and replace them with lies about your size, intake, and how much you should exercise. Eventually, this can feel like it is taking over your existence. Your eating disorder keeps stealing little pieces of you, of your identity, until you have nothing left. You become your eating disorder and lose who you are in the process. Eating disorders consume you; every minute of the day can be filled with these life-draining worries and thoughts.
When I was at my worst, I felt like I had no identity outside of my eating disorder. I wasn’t sure of who I was anymore. I believed all of the lies ED told me. Fear and shame left me purposefully isolating myself from my friends and family. No one seemed to understand what I was going through. My eating disorder had stolen my identity.
Stopping ED from coming in and stealing from you is not going to be an easy task; I still struggle with this thief on a daily basis. These are my steps to ED-proof your mind and prevent the thief from messing with your head.
- Lock your door and don’t let him in – It might be hard at first, but get up enough courage and stop letting the thoughts control you and try to see them for what they really are.
- Don’t be home – Go out and do something fun and completely not eating- disorder- related. Go spend a night out with friends, go for a relaxing walk in the park, or take up a new hobby. Do whatever you can to get yourself out there and get away from ED.
- Call for help – Reach out to someone you trust. When you notice that you’re isolating yourself, ask a friend to MAKE you get away from ED.
No one deserves to have their identity stolen. You are not your eating disorder. Stop letting the thief break in and take what is yours. You are valuable, unique, beautiful and wonderfully made. There is so much more to you than ED wants you to believe.
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